May 23, 1938 - October 28, 2025
Reverend Thomas Charles Barnes, 87, of Latonia, KY, passed away on Tuesday, October 28, 2025. Thomas Charles Barnes ("Tom") was born on May 23, 1938, the only child of Charles Joseph Barnes and Florence Evelyn Barnes (nee Simmons). He was born in Grace Hospital, Detroit Michigan. He was Baptized at Saint Margaret Mary Church, LeMay Avenue, Detroit on June 26, 1938. He was Confirmed at Our Lady Queen of Peace, Detroit, on June 1, 1950.
Tom attended grades K-8 at the Finney Public School in Detroit. He entered Austin Prep, a Catholic College Preparatory run by the Augustinian Friars in Detroit. He attended there one year (1952-53). Tom then attended the Saint Augustine Seminary in Saugatuck, Michigan for his Sophomore Year. This seminary was located in the Felt Mansion, just outside of Saugatuck. Incidentally, this was the same seminary attended, years later, by Robert Francis Prevost (now Pope Leo XIV). Tom returned to Austin Prep in Detroit for his Junior and Senior years, graduating with the class of 1956.
Tom spent the summer of 1956 at Saint Sylvester Benedictive Monastery, in Detroit. In the fall he attended Saint Benedict College, Acheson, Kansan. He remained for three semesters, working toward a Bachelor of Science Degree.
Tom entered Gethsemani Monastery in Central Kentucky on April 1, 1958. The irony that he entered on April Fool's Day was not lost on him. He remained at Gethsemani for two years. Father Louis Merton (better known as Thomas Merton) was his novice master and spiritual director. One of his brother monks at the time was Raymond Flanagan (The Man Who Got Even With God).
There was much of the monastic life that Tom was attracted to and loved, but after two years he decided to leave Gethsemani, a decision he at times considered the worst decision he had made in his life. But he left Gethsemani with many good friendships among the monks of that community, friendships that he maintained over the years. Through Gethsemani he met people who would play a role in his life after leaving, including the artists Victor and Carolyn Hammer and the author John Howard Griffin.
Tom's experience at Gethsemani deeply influenced his spiritual life for the rest of his life, particularly his commitment to the importance reading and of developing and maintaining an interior life of prayer.
Upon leaving Gethsemani Tom returned to Detroit where he attended the University of Detroit (UD) and worked on an assembly line for the Ford Motor Company. While at the University of Detroit he became acquainted with Vaugh Adams, a well-respected philosophy professor and devout Catholic there. Professor Adams inspired in Tom a love of philosophy, particularly Catholic philosophers. Tom completed his Bachelor of Science Degree at UD.
His growing interest in philosophy led Tom in 1962 to enroll at the Pontifical Institute for Medieval Studies (PIMS), a special program within Saint Michael's College at the University of Toronto, Canada, where he earned a Master of Arts Degree. At PIMS he was taught by such prominent Catholic Philosophers as Reverend Edward Synan and Anton Pegis.
After PIMS, Tom entered Western Michigan University where he earned his Master of Business Administration (MBA).
Even though Tom has completed his MBA, his interest in religious life was still quite powerful. At this time, after being influenced by the example of a Franciscan Friar who would become known as Richard Rohr, Tom decided to try religious life in the Order of Friars Minor. After a couple of years, Tom decided that he was not called to this life and separated from the Franciscans.
From 1966 to 1968 Tom worked for Mid-American Publishing: Ultra-Van Division in Hutchinson, Kansas. From 1968 to 1970 Tom taught in the business school at Kansas State University, Pittsburgh, Kansas. Years afterwards, former students would contact him and thank him for all that he had taught them.
From 1970 to 1972 Tom was the director of the Wichita Art Association, in Wichita, Kansas. In this position he became friends with the Koch Family and in particular the matriarch of the family, Mary Koch. They would remain friends until Mary's death in 1990. Mary was quite talented artistically, particularly in silver-smithing. On the occasion of Father Barnes' ordination to the priesthood in 1987, Mary presented Tom with a very decorative chalice that she had made specifically for him.
Tom left Wichita in 1972 to take a position at Citizens Union National Bank in Lexington, Kentucky. Tom was the executive vice-president of the Trust Division there and enjoyed much success in developing and expanding the Trust Division's clientele. While in Lexington, he was also involved in various civic organizations, such as the Lexington Council for the Arts.
Tom left his position at the bank and Lexington to enter the seminary to study for the Catholic Priesthood in the fall of 1983. A few months earlier, his mother had spoken to him about how he had done so many things in his life, and been successful at them... except for the one thing that he really wanted, which was to be a priest. Tom figured at his age, he probably only had one more chance. He explored the idea with some priests he knew and other friends and decided to try. At a luncheon at a Chinese Restaurant with some clients of the bank, after he had decided to try the seminary, his fortune cookie at the end of the meal read simply: "You have made the right decision." Tom taped that fortune into his Christian Prayer Book. It is still there.
Tom studied for the Catholic Priesthood as a seminarian for the Diocese of Covington, Kentucky. Lexington was part of the Covington Diocese at that time. Tom truly enjoyed his studies at Mount Saint Mary's Seminary of the West in Cincinnati, Ohio. While not terribly fond of term papers, he was very interested in the subject matter of his classes. Tom always had a natural gift for counseling people, and so his working toward and achieving a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling came very naturally. Tom liked working with clients, and also learning from his teachers/mentors who were already working as counselors.
Tom was ordained a priest for the Diocese of Covington on May 30, 1987. His mother had passed (December, 1985) but his father Charlie came from Detroit with family friend Joe Tolari to be there for the ordination. His father was so very proud.
After ordination, Father Thomas Barnes served as a parochial vicar at Saint Pius X Parish for a year. After that, Bishop Hughes asked if he would move to Holy Cross Parish to help Monsignor Elmer Grosser, who had come out of retirement to serve as an administrator of Holy Cross. Monsignor Grosser and Father Barnes got along very well. Father Barnes served as parochial vicar for several years. In 1992 Father Barnes was named pastor of Holy Cross Parish, where he served as pastor until 2019.
While Father Barnes will be remembered for many notable things, perhaps most frequently mentioned by people has been that when you were with him, particularly in counseling situations, but socially as well, you had his undivided attention: "He saw you" as we might say today. Father Barnes had a preternatural ability to see the potential in people and to then ask just the right questions to challenge people to see and believe what he saw in them. Many people found this both helpful, but also infuriating at times. He could be very direct which could be very painful. But over time, his observations and challenges would usually prove to be the shortest way to a cathartic, positive change in a person's life. This was true for essentially all of his life... as a student, as a professor (maybe especially as a professor), as an executive, as a mentor and friend. Many persons have commented how he "changed their lives." This would include friends from his high school days and friends at the end of his life.
Interest in religion and religious life are an obvious theme throughout Father Barnes' life. It was there from the beginning. Both of his parents were Catholic. They were married at the Capuchin Monastery on Mount Elliot Street in Detroit. This is the monastery of Blessed Solanus Casey, OFMCap, a priest at this monastery at that time. Father Barnes would relate how on Sunday mornings his parents would drop him off at a Catholic Church for Mass. After Mass they would pick him up and take him to a Baptist Sunday School. This went on for a while. Then his parents told him he had to decide. Father Barnes chose to stay with the Catholic Church because he found the rituals very beautiful and moving
Father Barnes' interests and talents were many and varied. At times this was a challenge because some interests would distract him from others. But, underlying it all was a desire to know God through life and to honor God by his life. He was quite insightful, compassionate, creative, intelligent, and always with a great sense of humor. Friendships were always a priority in his life. He always worked hard to establish and maintain friendships that were deep and meaningful.
A passage from Thomas Merton's The Seven Storey Mountain that Father Barnes was particularly fond of, comes from last pages of the book. While it speaks of life in a monastery, the same could be said about life in general:
Before we were born, God knew us. He knew that some of us would rebel against His love and His mercy, and that others would love Him from the moment that they could love anything, and never change that love. He knew that there would be joy in heaven among the angels of His house for the conversion of some of us, and He knew that He would bring us all here to Gethsemani together, one day, for His own purpose, for the praise of His love.
The life of each one in this abbey is part of a mystery. We all add up to something far beyond ourselves. We cannot yet realize what it is. But we know, in the language of our theology, that we are all members of the Mystical Christ, and that we all grow together in Him for Whom all things were created.
In one sense we are always traveling, and traveling as if we did not know where we are going.
In another sense we have already arrived.
We cannot arrive at the perfect possession of God in this life, and that is why we are traveling and in darkness. But we already possess Him by grace, and therefore in that sense we have arrived and are dwelling in the light.
But oh! How far have I to go to find You in Whom I have already arrived!
Fr. Tom was preceded in death by his parents: Charlie and Florence Barnes. He is survived by several cousins in the greater Detroit, MI area. Fr. Tom is also survived by a host of friends. Visitation will take place on Saturday, November 15, 2025 from 9:00 AM until the Mass of Christian Burial at 11:00 AM at Holy Cross Church, 3612 Church Street, Covington (Latonia), KY 41015. In lieu of flowers, memorials are suggested to the Diocese of Covington Priest Retirement Fund, 1125 Madison Avenue, Covington, KY 41011 or to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital c/o stjude.org. Connley Brothers Funeral Home, Covington (Latonia), KY 41015 is serving the family. Online condolences may be expressed on Facebook or at www.connleybrothersfuneralhome.com